Letter To Myself
by pokefreak59
Summary: Title pretty much says it all


**I haven't written anything in a long time, and have kind of quit writing Konohigh...so if anyone has been waiting for the next chapter...don't hold your breath. I wrote this story out of sheer depression, cuz a lot of things have been happening in my life, and I'm not exactly sure if anyone will like it but at least it's something. Hope You enjoy it.**

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Have you ever lay awake in bed at night, staring up at the ceiling wondering if that certain someone is thinking about you? Ever wonder of your name has even crossed their mind for even a second? And if there are, what are their thoughts about you? So you come across as a nice person, a nuisance or maybe just another face in their lives?

Have you ever lay awake in bed late at night staring up at the ceiling imagining all the perfect scenarios in which you can tell that person exactly how you feel? You script the place, the people that will be there and even the time of day. In your mind you write down everyone's exact lines, you imagine their facial expressions and how each and every one of them leave until it's just you and that certain someone left all alone. That's when you close your eyes as you blush and continue playing out the rest of the scene. You begin to nibble on your lower lip as you imagine that person reciprocates your feelings…but then you imagine yourself getting rejected and you begin to feel down and a tear forms in the corner of your left eye. You then shake your head and laugh it off as you just realized that you rejected yourself. You close your eyes and let out a deep sigh as you try to get some sleep but instead end up playing out another scene from start to finish.

Have you ever stayed up late at night talking to yourself in the mirror telling yourself that the next time you see that someone you will, without a doubt, start a conversation and become closer? You stare into your reflections gloomy eyes and jump when you think you hear someone right outside your room? If anyone where to catch you talking to yourself this late they probably wouldn't let you live it down. You look at yourself in the mirror once more and tell yourself out loud that it's not going to be like last time. You're not going to stand there as that person walks by in front of you, and you can't even bring the nerve to wave hi. All those hours of mentally preparing yourself are not going to go to waste…again. You lick your lips as you let out another sigh and climb back into bed, get comfortable under your favorite blue and yellow blanket and try to find sleep once again.

By this point you're probably tired, tired of so many things. Tired of seeing other couple's taking having a significant other for granted, all they do is complain about the other while you're here wishing you had someone to talk to, while they bitch and complain and don't even realize how lucky they are. You are tired of seeing other people swing from relationship to relationship so easily, while you're stuck this one person for the past six years you can't even talk to, and might not even feel the same way about you. You're tired of hearing the few times you can manage to talk to this person they tell you about their ex's and how they cheated and other stupid things they've done to this person you care so much about…stuff that would never even cross your mind to do. You want to tell them that they deserve better…if you could only get the words out. Most of all you're tired of being up so late, it's already 5:17 and you have to be up at seven…

My name is Hinata, I am twenty-two years old and this…is what I go through every single night.

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"What have you got there?" I asked Ushio, my beautiful four year old daughter, who was sitting by my bed's mahogany nightstand. I could tell that she had been rummaging through the drawers and had found something that caught her eye.

"It's a letter." She said sweetly as she handed me the piece of paper. "I saw your name on it mommy. What's it say?" She asked as she stood up. "Mommy's name is right there!" She pointed at the bottom of the page. "Daddy taught me how to spell our names last week." She said happily. "I remembered." She told me sounding proud of herself.

"Very good." I patted her head as I saw down on my bed and skimmed through the page. I felt my cheeks warm up as I remembered when I wrote it and let out a small chuckle. "Oh wow, I completely forgot about this." I muttered to myself.

"What is it?" Ushio asked looking over the page trying to make out words. I was feeling so relieved that she had just started learning how to read. If she could read this, I would be absolutely embarrassed, especially if she had told her father who would tease me about it for months to come. "Is it funny?" She asked with a smile as she climbed up on the bed and sat next to me, curious to know what is was about.

"N-No," I told her "It's an essay that I wrote a long time ago in school. It's an expository essay in which I had to explain the-"

"Boring!" My daughter yelled, cutting me off, and ran out of the room.

"I looked over the page one last time. "This was the note that I wrote to myself eight years ago before I finally decided to tell him how I felt about him." I closed my eyes and held the paper up to my heart. _I felt like I was about to break down when he told me he didn't feel the same way. _I sighed as I fell back on my bed. _But then he said he was willing to give me a chance. We started dating and then two years later-_

**Honk! Honk! **

A car beeped outside.

"Daddy's home!" I heard Ushio yell out excitedly as the front door open and she ran outside.

I walked out to the front door and saw my husband pick up my daughter and spin her around in the air as she laughed and gave him a kiss on his cheek. "And now here I am." I told myself as I went out to the yard and gave him a kiss hello.

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**There you have it. Maybe some of you related to it...maybe not. Either way I hope that at least some of you ended up liking it at least a little. **

**Drop a review and let me know what you think.  
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